Ok, so most people seem to be in agreeance that it's totally uncool to be the third wheel. 'Tthird wheel' is synonomous with 'tag-a-long'; if you find yourself in this position you can feel out of place or like an unwanted extra. Plus, you usually have to endure highly uncomfortable make-out sessions between the two main wheels OR just other lovey-dovey crap that induces a gag reflex unless oneself is actually partaking in the activity with one's own eye candy. So yeah, generally being a third wheel sucks. For as long as I remember I, Eva Cameron, have been the trusty third wheel. Being the ever-single one, I would always be forced into third wheel scenarios whether I liked it or not. Sometimes it was okay, because in some cases I was equally as chummy with my friend's boyfriend as I was with my girlfriend. However, there have been plenty of instances where I have had to endure awkward moments with my friend's partner where we either #1 sit there in silence OR #2 frantically speak over each other so as to not find ourselves at #1. My most hated scenario is the one where you plan to do something with your friend (thinking girls only) and then you rock up to meet her and suddenly Mr Boyfriend pops up out of nowhere like BAM! Um, seriously, don't you have anything better to do little man or has your girlfriend forced you into coming along so you can listen to us ramble on about...I dunno...girly stuff? Either way, if his presence is unexpected, it is generally unwelcome.
However after years of pitying myself as the third wheel, I have realised that my position is actually one of great power and I can actually benefit from being the omnipresent tag-a-long. That's right, most of my friends who are attached have told their boyfriends that if they want to continue being attached, they have to accept ME as part of the package deal. That means the boyfriend, if he accepts this, understands that if he wants to hang around his bitch, he may have to hang around me too. But I'll go a step further and say that if he wants to make his girlfriend happy, he has to make ME happy too. And here, my friends, is where I become something more than a third wheel. In fact, this is where I start to redefine what a third wheel is - I am no longer an unwanted extra. I am a needed part of the system, in fact, I am an assumed and integral part of a system which will continue to exist whether the boyfriend is there or not. And the benefits of this newly-defined-third-wheel status include: drinks being bought for me, dinners, rides home and general sucking up my ass because if Eva doesn't like you, it's highly likely she can influence her friend to not like you too. Oh, THE POWER!!! Ok for real, I'm not that evil and I would never exploit my friends' boyfriends for my benefit. Please don't take me too seriously. The point is, it's not too bad being the third wheel, it really just depends on the way you look at it. And that's something you can really apply to anything in your life no matter what position you find yourself in. So fuck the self-pity and look at the pros of every scenario. Who needs a lifelong partner to support you and share your hopes and dreams? Why not aspire to be a third wheel like me? All the advantages of a boyfriend...without the boyfriend.
:)
