Hello again.

Why is it that we can't truly enjoy our own happiness because there is a subconscious (or perhaps very conscious) fear that it is all going to be taken away from us? And by "we", I mean "I". But surely it's not just me who is feeling this way? I really hate to be like this, but I can't help it. The more I think to myself that I need to accept good things in my life, the more I think that I'm kidding myself and that nothing can be that great, or that perfect.  Another part of me says that I need to block out that "doubting self" while my "non-doubting self" says that I need to stop resisting my negative thoughts, but embrace them in the hope that they will disappear! It's that whole thing where in my mind I try to resolve conflict by accepting good and bad thoughts like they are not in opposition to one another, but just part of my thought process. In that way, there is not a struggle between two different poles of thought...Does this make any sense at all? Obviously it's not working too well if I'm here writing this blog. All I want is to be able to accept good stuff into my life without thinking it's going to disappear. Can't happiness exist without sadness? Or is that too good to be true? I want the "too good to be true" to be true.